NEW ARTICLE UP - Check out my latest article, Dealing With The Double Action Trigger, at the Personal Defense Network!

COWBOY TACTICAL - Don't know if I learned of this from Tam or Uncle, but it's funny either way! From Cemetery’s Gun Blob:




GREAT INTERVIEWS - The ProArms Podcast recently featured interviews with Gila Hayes and Kathy Jackson, regarding their respective books: Personal Defense for Women and Lessons from Armed America. Highly recommended listening (and reading!)

A LITTLE RECOGNITION - Many people have asked about the site's redesign. The site is built in RapidWeaver; the theme is from Nick Cates Design. Last week I received an email from Nick, who said he was impressed how I'd used his template. He asked if he could feature grantcunningham.com in his Showcase, and of course I said yes! You can see it here.

HOUSEKEEPING - You may notice that the tag cloud has changed a bit. I wasn't happy with how I'd handled the tags, so I erased them and started over. Hopefully what you see now is an improvement in usability.

A LITTLE MORE HUMOR - I ran across this link in my archives, and couldn't resist posting it again: How Gun Magazines Write Articles.

-=[ Grant ]=-

Tags: proarms, women, books, pdn

Uncle has resurrected, for the umpteenth time, the "Gospel of John Browning." Like a certain cult popular in Hollywood, fans of the bottom feeder keep trying to convince others to join their weird little group. Luckily, there is a Holy Book which you can use to defend yourself against their evil blandishments.

Many years ago I came across an obscure part of Scripture that deals with this subject. I was able to get it translated from the ancient Hebrew in which it was written, and here are some of the more relevant portions:

"In the beginning, the universe was without form; the Lord made the
earth in the shape of the sphere, that is to be round, for the Lord
looks upon roundness with great favor."

"The Lord said to Adam and Eve, lo I give you the cycle of seasons,
so that you mayest understand that one thing must follow another, in
their natural order. Do not doest in the Spring that which is meant
for the Autumn, for nature which I hath given to you shall always
complete a circle. The earth doth not shuttle back and forth, nor the
moon travel to-and-fro, for reciprocation is an abomination before
the Lord."

We learn of the birth of His Ballistic Holiness:

"...and she named her son Shmuel, that is Samuel, which means 'he
would be destined a prophet'. And the Lord would listen to Samuel, and
shower him with great favor. As the boy did grow he became known as
Samuel the Colt, for he was exceedingly fast and lithe, with graceful
manner and of great wisdom."

The people were in need of deliverance from the evil around them, and from that need sprang The Gift:

..."and the people, needing protection from their pursuers, looked to
the Lord. The Lord said, I will give Shmuel, who you call Sam, the gift of invention
and artistry. From him will come the means of your rescue, which you should
never forget nor abandon; for the Lord wishes you to have only the best."

Of course, people never recognize a good thing even when it stares them in the face. From that flows what has become known as the Browning Apostasy, and the punishment which results:

"And Shmuel asked Yonaton, that is the same as John, how the
detestable thing came to be, and Yonaton answered 'I threw these
parts into the fire, and it sprang whole from the flames as you see
it here, save for the grip safety which was added by the mob.' And
the Lord knew that Yonaton was lying, and vowed to punish him."

"The Lord said to Yonaton, 'you hath committed an abomination unto the
Lord, and from now on you will be cursed. Your followers, though they
be many, will fight amongst themselves in vain; they will revile each
other, none of them seeing the truth, for their eyes will be blinded
by their lust for their own kind. Your devices will be functional but
not accurate, or accurate but not functional, but never both at the
same time, thus always serving to you and your followers as a sign of
your transgression. Some will try to bring peace to your camps, that
is to marry function and accuracy, but their attempts will be
thwarted by my wrath, which will become known in latter days as 'KahBoom'."

"And the Lord said to Shmuel, yours too will be many, and they will
be entrusted with serving as a light unto the world. They will be
mocked and ridiculed by those whose devices are either functional or
accurate, but never both at the same time, whilst yours will continue
to be functional and accurate, each at the same time, and fairer to
look upon as well. Whilst I made man and woman, you will make them
equal; for the world is not flat, neither should your gun be."

With tongue planted firmly in cheek, I wish you and yours a Happy Thanksgiving!

-=[ Grant ]=-

Last weekend I was assisting at a Defensive Shotgun course taught by Georges Rahbani ("The Best Rifle Instructor You've Never Heard Of"). A couple of the participants were discussing a problem with a ParaOrdnance pistol when I walked up. "Well, it's not like you should be surprised", I said, "when the brand's name tells you everything you need to know."

They stared at me blankly.

"Para- is a prefix meaning 'similar to' or 'resembling' ", I continued. "So, Para-Ordnance means that it's only 'sort of a gun' ."

I'm here to tell you that some people are seriously humor impaired.

-=[ Grant ]=-

Tags: georges.rahbani

No, I do not work on these.



(From The Firearm Blog.)

-=[ Grant ]=-

A number of years back my wife and I served as coordinators for the defensive pistol matches at our gun club. Our matches were somewhat similar to IDPA, but without the endless rules to make everything "fair." We enjoyed a cadre of participants that were very involved, and loved to build sets for stages.

(Some of them got a little carried away; one particular gentleman once designed a stage that featured cardboard cows. Yes, cows, complete with udders. He's a very creative sort.)

We held our matches on our club's metallic silhouette range, so we had only a large open field in which to set up stages. We'd usually set up four "open" stages (you could see the entire thing), but also liked to set up one secret stage - the participants couldn't see anything until they were actually in it. The way we usually accomplished this was to hang large tarps on portable stakes to block the view, but there were other approaches.

One particular match several guys got together and constructed a dark tunnel. The premise was that you were walking down an alley at night, and targets would swing out or come charging toward you. It was a technical marvel, and all contained in a narrow structure made of wood and black plastic ("visqueen.") As I recall, it was about 8 feet wide, 8 feet tall, and perhaps 30 feet long.

Since the premise was darkness, the entire thing was sheathed in that black plastic - including the roof. It took quite some time to build, so the guys had been on the range the day before to do the construction. When we arrived the next morning to start the match, we found that it had rained overnight. That wasn't a problem, because the black plastic roof had kept everything dry. What we didn't think about were the large puddles of water on that plastic.

Since I was the match director, I got to shoot first. I was using a Ruger SP101 with the 2-1/8" barrel and fire-breathing 125grain JHP magnums. The range officer and I entered the structure, closed the door, and the buzzer went off.

I saw the first target and put two rounds into it, and immediately heard peals of laughter behind me. Outside of the enclosure, the other shooters were becoming hysterical.

I finished the stage (as I recall, there were three more targets) and exited the enclosure to find the laughter had diminished only slightly. People in the crowd told me that my first shot had created such a large amount of pressure in the enclosure that the sides were pushed out and the pooled water on the roof had been thrown twenty feet into the air. The effect, they said, looked like a Looney Toons cartoon of a stick of dynamite exploding in a barrel.

In the heat of the moment I didn't really notice the concussion, but the range officer mentioned that he didn't want to follow me so closely any more!

-=[ Grant ]=-

Tags: .357

If you live anywhere west of the Mississippi, you know all about this arctic air mass which has come to roost over our little slice of heaven. It's resulted in a good foot of snow in my front yard, along with temperatures more common to the Midwest than the Northwest.

I'm not even trying to get out of my driveway, and I'm sorry to say that I definitely will not be making the shipping schedule for this week. On the plus side, I'll finally have time to clear out my email inbox.

---

To my friends in northern Florida: don't even think of sending me pictures of sunny vistas from your 79 degree paradise, lest you wind up with a large box of the finest Al Gore Global Warming Snowballs. As mentioned above, I have a nearly inexhaustible supply of the stuff sitting around, and am none too happy with the situation. You have been warned.

---

Someone sent me this over the weekend:



Aside from the error in nomenclature (since when is a miniature revolver a "derringer"?), it really doesn't look all that different from the guns you can find gracing the cover of Mall Ninja Magazine!

---

My little blurb on the lever action rifle generated a greater than normal amount of commentary and email. It seems that there are a lot of fans of the humble "deer rifle" out there! Someday, when I get caught up on all the revolvers needing work, perhaps I'll turn my attention to the lever action.

---

Speaking of lever actions...I managed to get out to a gunshow this last weekend, where I was sorely tempted by a Marlin Model 62 in .30 Carbine. To the best of my knowledge it's the only levergun ever to be chambered in that cartridge, of which I'm a fan. It was only sheer willpower (and the fact that I've made several other large, non-firearms acquisitions lately) that kept me from putting my money on the table.

---

Which reminds me...does anyone know of a bolt-action ever made in .30 Carbine?

---

-=[ Grant ]=-

Tags: tacticool, lever.actions

For some reason it's difficult to accept that people holding certain kinds of jobs would be tempted by something as fleeting as money and fame. Doctors, police officers, accountants, and clergy are supposed to be above such petty motives, yet a small percentage always fall to the lure of the "dark side."

It's when scientists go bad that it becomes...well, not funny, but certainly more amusing than having your accountant empty your bank account. It's the stuff of a South Park sketch:

1. Fake data.
2. ???
3. Profit!

Sometimes the fakes aren't even all that good, yet a trusting scientific community (and the public who trusts them) still falls for the ruses. Read about some of the most amazing examples over at Cracked.com.

-=[ Grant ]=-

For the life of me, I don't know quite how to introduce today's post!

Imagine taking snapshots of typical 1930's life. Now, do it underwater. That's it in a nutshell!



These just have to be seen to be appreciated.

-=[ Grant ]=-

Tags: photography

Something old, something new - all are borrowed, and one makes me blue!

---

Marko over at the munchkin wrangler (who, for all of his talent, still hasn't figured out what the caps key is for) has penned another winner: "tales from a gun-free society." It's a personal look at the societal effects of wide scale disarmament. (My general rule is that if Marko wrote it, it must be worth reading. This is yet another validation of that rule.)

---

If the name "Gecko45" means nothing to you, then you've missed out on one of the funniest things on the 'net - the rise of the Mall Ninja. Sadly, the original postings on GlockTalk that led to the coining of the term are long gone, and the mallninja.com site is no more; luckily for us, someone recognized the historical importance of Gecko45.

His (her?) whole posts - along with some good background and explanations - can now be found at Lonely Machines. If you're new to the Mall Ninja phenomenon, it's a must-read. If you remember the original, it's a hilarious blast from the past. In either case, go. Read. Laugh.

---

Gecko45 is a classic, no doubt. It's hard to beat such comedic genius, and how many people can lay claim to inspiring a new term? Well, Larry Correia's got a candidate of his own: the original "HK: because you suck. And we hate you." essay. You can read it - along with his hilarious followup - at this link. (If you're a rabid HK fan, it's guaranteed to raise your blood pressure. If you're not, it'll make you squirt milk out your nose.)

---

Happy Monday!

-=[ Grant ]=-

Tags: bloggers, tacticool

You hate telemarketers. I hate telemarketers. Everyone hates telemarketers. (If you're a telemarketer, I'm sorry - I just can't work up any sympathy for you. Yes, I realize you need that job to buy diapers - but life's tough enough without getting your phone calls in the middle of my dinner!)

The hapless victims of telemarketers are finally starting to fight back. Take a look at this collection of tips about turning the tables on those who interrupt your life to sell you cheaper long distance. (Courtesy of Dark Roasted Blend.)

-=[ Grant ]=-

A reader emailed me this link to a rather unusual bar-b-que setup.

Me want. (If you have one, don't ask me for an action job!)

-=[ Grant ]=-

Those of you who remember that character will be saddened to hear that George Carlin has died.

Carlin, aside from being side-splittingly funny, was the comedy touchstone for my generation. Even when I didn't agree with his politics, I had to laugh at his observations. Most of the time, though, he was simply the insightful man who poked fun at some of our fattest sacred cows. Even when he was profane he was funny, which is something most other comedians couldn't do on their best day. Heck, even my Dad liked the guy!

Everyone has their favorite Carlin routine. Mine was his observation about how Americans accumulate clutter in their lives: "Have you ever noticed that everyone else's stuff is crap, but your crap is 'stuff' ?"

RIP, George.

-=[ Grant ]=-

+++
I managed to finish the last post on my "Self defense, stopping power, and caliber" series last night. When I re-read it this morning, prior to uploading, I decided I didn't like it. Oh, the informational aspect was fine - it was the writing. For whatever reason, it wasn't as clear as I had thought. I'm re-writing it, and will post on Wednesday.

Today, you get the quick-and-dirty, all-linky-and-no-thinky post.

+++
From the No Quarters blog, a graphic example of why one should never allow a member of the media anywhere near a firearm. (I have my own story of a media person being handed a gun, but forces over which I have no control demand that I never tell the tale. More's the pity, as it's at least as good as this one.)

+++
This article - from the Wall Street Journal, no less - has been getting tons of play in the blogosphere. Michael Bane's corner of the web was the first place I saw it, so he gets the tip o' the hat.

(Yes, I am as well. Thanks for asking!)

+++
Finally, this has nothing to do with anything at all, but it was just so...odd that I just knew I had to bring it to you. (Leave it to Tam to find stuff like this...)

Tags: bloggers

I'm really glad that HK doesn't make revolvers. People complain about the supposed snobbishness of Python owners, but even the most rabid Colt fan can't hold a candle to the receptionist at Heckler & Koch.

How do I know, you may ask? One day I had the temerity to call them with the simple goal of obtaining a replacement trigger spring for an HK P7. To characterize the reception I got as "cold" would have been massive understatement. Siberia is a veritable tropic paradise in comparison.

Even after putting me through their version of the Nuremberg trial (boy, do they carry a grudge) they still wouldn't sell me the part.

Having therefore experienced their Teutonic haughtiness, I laughed the laugh of the knowing when I read this post at Monster Hunter Nation.

(Oh, be sure to read the comments. All of them. There are some gems there, especially toward the bottom.)

-=[ Grant ]=-

The other day I was in the parking lot of the local Home Depot, whose coffers as of late have been swelling from the various remodeling projects around our house.

As I was loading up another pile of material for yet another round of work on the house, I watched in amazement as a couple contemplated how to carry their newly-purchased front entry door in (or on) their - wait for it - Mazda Miata. I wish I were kidding.

My wife chuckled all the way home.

My thoughts immediately turned to an episode of Rowan Atkinson's terrific "Mr. Bean" television show, wherein the namesake character carries the equivalent of a La-Z-Boy on top of his tiny little car (an original Leyland Mini):



But these two episodes of mirth pale in comparison to some real pictures of crazy portages, brought to us once again by Dark Roasted Blend. Enjoy!

-=[ Grant ]=-

Thanks to Say Uncle.



-=[ Grant ]=-

So, last evening - a hot, sticky Oregon evening - my wife and I were sitting under the maple tree eating dinner. A squirrel suddenly darted across the street, heading for a tree on the other side.

In and of itself, this is not unusual. There are a lot of squirrels in our neighborhood, and if you spend more than a few minutes outside you'll see numerous such rodent dashes.

What happened next, however, was unusual. Hot on the squirrel's heels (do they have heels?) was, not a dog or cat, but our neighbor's teenage son. He chased the squirrel across the street and into the tree; a minute or so later he dropped out of the tree carrying the squirrel by the scruff of the neck!

How he managed to chase the little beast down, let alone actually grab it without getting bitten, is a mystery. He showed the furry trinket to his friends, tickled its tummy a bit, and gently let it go back up a tree.

Believe it, or not.

-=[ Grant ]=-

Another squirrel attack. Were it not for the quick-thinking cane wielder, this could have been ugly.

-=[ Grant ]=-

I've been trying my level best to alert the world about the threat posed by militant squirrels. They've been testing us, attacking sporadically in an attempt to weaken our defenses. Now the unthinkable has happened - they've acquired advanced weaponry!



Once their internal power struggles have been settled, we're in for a long, hard fight!

-=[ Grant ]=-

The Friday Surprise articles usually present themselves well in advance of the time I need them. There's just so much interesting stuff going on in the world that I usually have no problem finding a topic.

Not this week. It really shouldn't have surprised me, as this week has just been a disaster from the start, but it did annoy me. I just couldn't find anything interesting to write about.

Luckily my old nemesis, The Squirrel, went on another rampage.

-=[ Grant ]=-

So, let's say that you were going to buy me a new cel phone. What do you think I'd want?

How about a Blackberry Pearl? Too "Geek bondage." A Motorola Razr? They are SOOOOOO 2006. Nokia N80? If I wanted a slide-out I'd buy an RV. The Apple iPhone? Tempting, and it would go great with my Macs, but no - there's something even better.

The cel phone I really want is the Portable Rotary Phone from Spark Fun Electronics. Inside this antique is a fully functional cel phone module that utilizes all of the phone's original parts for their intended purposes: the handset, the dial, and even the two-bell ringer!



My Father, who was an inveterate prankster and a telephone company employee, would've loved this thing. It would be just the ticket to out-annoy the clods who use their phones in restaurants, and imagine the looks you'd get in meetings ("sorry, but I have to take this call.")

Besides, the whole retro-dial thing goes perfectly with my revolver persona, don't you think??

-=[ Grant ]=-

As you know, I've been on top of the growing Squirrel Menace. I've alerted you to the pack of squirrels that kills dogs, and I've kept you up to date on the squirrels that take down planes. It's a tough job, but it's important to the security of the free world!

Luckily for us all, there is finally one website that dares to expose the deeds of the most notorious squirrels on the planet. Scary Squirrel World: Profiles in Terror is where you can keep up on the most heinous of the squirrel conspirators.


Squirrel in top-secret SEAL training

I'll sleep easier knowing that they're one the job!

-=[ Grant ]=-

Back on 12/29, I reported on the pack of squirrels that attacked and killed a dog.

Now, they've taken down a plane.

What's next?!?


The new face of evil??

-=[ Grant ]=-

I know you've always wondered: how does a jet-setting gunsmith work with all of those adoring fans hanging around? Well, I hate to disappoint you, but unless you count an overindulged rabbit, no one is hanging around waiting for me to pay them any attention!


Tyler, the spoiled rabbit

Since my shop isn't open to the public, I get to dress and arrange my environment as suits me. I usually work in sweatpants and a sweatshirt (rarely matching), over which goes my little green grocer's apron.

(You read that correctly; I have two old-fasioned green cotton grocer's aprons, which I acquired when I worked in a grocery store during high school. How long ago was that? Well, let's just say the White House refrigerators were stocked with Billy Beer!)

My shop has no windows, so I'm forced to entertain myself as best I can. I usually do so by playing music at somewhat louder-than-normal volume. One might think this would be a rock-n-roll custom, but not usually - I've been known to play Scottish dance reels, Aaron Copland, Baroque trumpet concertos, and Red Rodney at the same transducer-destroying level. (Eclectic? Hey, I was a music performance minor in college - I'm allowed!)

So if you call and I don't answer the phone, it's because I can't hear it over the noise of the shop equipment. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

-=[ Grant ]=-

Some random news bits to round out the year...

So, according to Fox News, last Thanksgiving a man breaks into a barn, spray paints some goats, and leaves some porno behind. Guess he didn't have cable...(I'd comment on this story's interesting similarity to the town I grew up in, but thankfully I've managed to suppress those memories!)

In a story out of Russia - one that literally begs for a Yaakov Smirnoff joke - we learn that a pack of squirrels has attacked and killed a dog. What happens if they get guns? THIS:



Finally, in North Carolina they just aren't making desperate criminals like they used to. And "they" say that kids aren't affected by television!

Have a safe and sane New Year's celebration!

-=[ Grant ]=-

One day I was at the range testing client's guns - in this case, a Detective Special and a Python. I generally start shooting at 50 yards, because that's the closest steel target we have and shooting paper is boring.

(Besides, 50 yards is the point that I stop blinking when I shoot a steel target. Seriously - I'm paranoid about bullet splashback. When the 50 yard target becomes boring, I usually switch to the 200 yard target - you silhouette shooters know it as the ram. Shooting the ram, standing, double action, with light .38 Special ammo is something of a trick, as I need to aim about 15 feet above the target! If I get a hit per cylinder under those conditions, I'm a happy camper.)

Sorry for the gap in the narrative...anyhow, I'd just walked over the to 200 yard shooting position when this fellow comes up and stands next to me. As I'm loading he asks me what I'm shooting at. I motion to the 200 yard ram, and he squints his eyes. "No way you can hit that", he says. "I've got a GLOCK, and I couldn't hit that!" (The brand name was pronounced in a manner intended to evoke awe and wonder on the part of the listener. Sadly for him, it did not.)

I finished loading, looked at him and said "Well, it is pretty hard to hit." I turned my gaze back to the target, and squeezed off 2 rounds. From off in the distance came a distinct "clang....clang." I turned back to him and just grinned. He walked off, shaking his head in disbelief.

It's all about knowing when to stop!

-=[ Grant ]=-

In the news this morning:

Pluto no longer a planet

Russian Cosmonaut to Whack Golf Ball From ISS

Am I the only one who sees the humor in this??

-=[ Grant ]=-

Pardon my bashing of the French (after all, they do manufacture the superb Manurhin MR-73 revolver), but from James Taranto at the WSJ comes this gem:

"Tour de France winner Floyd Landis denied on Thursday taking performance-enhancing drugs during the race and said he would fight to clear his name after testing positive for the male sex hormone testosterone," Reuters reports.

Only the French would consider the presence of testosterone in a man's system suspicious.



-=[Grant ]=-

This short article may be one of the funniest things I've read in a while...and it seems dead-on accurate, at least to me!

-=[ Grant ]=--